a long long time didn't blog

it has been many months i didn't blog. just got back. fuhhh. i'm doing good, going back to Kuching for good by the end of Feb! :) i guess it's the time to go back home. i was listening to the song "just the way you are". All those memories with her came back :( but anyway, i'll need more time to forget everything. never mind, time will tell...

Looking forward

It has been emo months for me to forget about you. Until a moment that i came to my conscience, why am i sad & emo while you're happy with someone else? That question hit me. So i started to tell myself. LET GO! I started to less to think of you. Since you're happy, so fine. I need to find my happiness as well. I want to forget everything about you and i. Since it's meaningless now. I want to start a new life in a new place. I want to further my studies and i hope God will open the way for me. i really really hope. but gotta take IELTS first. I need to leave those memories behind and look forward for something that's great ahead me

Why can't i?

I just can't forget you. You stuck in my head! urghhhh! I know you're not mine and you're someone else's. I should forget you. but it's just so hard. :'(
I miss you so bad :'(

Letting go is painful

Dear you,

I love you, there's an obstacle between us. It's hard, sorry if i let you down. Maybe we just go our own path for the benefits of us. I feel the pain, i dunno about you. maybe you feel it or maybe not. Maybe we just need to pray to God to direct own paths. Let His will be done in our life. I dunno if you are mine, and if i am yours. Just pray ok? I just hope that you continue to love God more and more. I hope that your Mr. Right will lead you to love God more and more. Whether the Mr. right is me or other people, it's ok. Remember to love God more ok? i just care about you. I just wanna say i love you, it's ok if you don't love. You holds an important place in my heart.

Love,

Your lover

God speaks

I was driving back to home after sending my friend back to her home. I was to God for something-need Him to open the way. I was anxious about and so i started to pray. I was playing the song "Ocean will part" by Hillsong. He speaks to me in the chorus part:

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I'm blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hillsong_music_australia/oceans_will_part.html ]
Chorus:

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I'll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

God told me, "I will open up the way for you, I can make the oceans part. What is impossible for me? Nothing. At the whisper of My word, things done. There will be hope, just trust in Me. My Glory will be shone. In your life Chris, My Will will be done."

His words comforted me a lot. I just wanna share this to encourage you guys to trust God. For in Him, nothing is impossible. Even though i have not seen the things yet, but i trust in my Jesus. He is trustworthy.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

i'm back!

hey peeps, i've not been blogging for ages! LOL. about 4months. that's really really long. Well, i've been working for about 3months.

What urge me to blog is because few days ago i watch a new movie. taiwanese movie. SUPERB. I like it very much. The movie "You are the apple of my eyes" (那些年，我們ㄧ起追的女孩). I seriously like this movie VERY VERY much. haha. like the whole thing, except the sad ending. The handsome boy didn't end up with that quite pretty girl :((

You are the apple of my eyes!

I'm really kinda sad. LOL. i'm sick sin't it? haha. anyway, it's just a movie. Those who have not watched, you must watch. You gonna regret if you didn't.

Jesus is always there to help

As i posted my previous post, that i'm looking for job in KK. I keep praying and asking for God to open up the way for me to get a good and suitable job. I was really scared that i couldn't get a good one, especially being underpaid.

You know what? I got a good job!! Engineer post. A reasonable pay for a fresh graduate, that company gave me a CAR to use some more! It's out of my imagination! I never heard other people of being new employee in a company got a car from the company. The earliest the company would give a car when the employee passed his/her probation period. That's really a MIRACLE for me.

I've been called for few interviews - 2 sales executive, 1 engineer & 1 Unit trust consultant post. Other than engineer post, is not my interest and i have to have a car to get the job. So i turned down the all except engineer job. When i found out the engineering company, i went into the office. The office is small. When the boss called me, he said that his company is just 2 y.o company. So it's quite small company. I thought the pay will be low, below average like 1.5k. Then i went to the boss' office. I started introducing myself. Actually this company is not company related to chemical engineering, but Mechanical & Electrical (M&E). Then he started to tell the company's background etc. Then he told me that the pay will be 1.8k, and after probation period would be 2k. In heart saying, Praise God, not low, just the standard fresh grad salary for engineer. Then i told him that i don't have car. Then he said he will try to give me a car. wahh, in heart, "God is so good!". His name is Allan, so i just call him Mr. Allan. Mr. Allan told me that he received many applications of that post. i think more than 10. But he chose to interview 3 applicants. I'm the 3rd applicant. He interview the 1st and 2nd applicants. He told me, " The 2nd is better than 1st applicant. But yours and the 2nd applicant have the same qualification. I would prefer you because you are a CHRISTIAN." Wow. I believe God is giving me a better working environment. He even told me that he is almost confirmed to take me and it's my decision to take it or not. Mr. Allan need to discuss with his senior engineer and coordinator or something whether he should hire me or not. In my heart i wanna accept that job, just that i wanna go through the other interview and then decide. Cos i think Mr. Allan's offer is very good. Then i went back.

The next i went for unit trust consultant interview. It's just not my interest. So after that i called Mr. Allan that i wanna accept the job offer if he is confirmed wanna hire me. He said that he hasn't discussed with the other 2, will call me back in 2 days time. After 2 days, then he called me. He said that he wanna accept me and would give me the car. I'm so happy!! But he said, "You will come in to work on 1 August". It's because he can only get the car for me by 1 August and need to do some renovation in the office for my table etc. I'm a bit sad, cos i need to wait for about a month, means i will be jobless and causing my saving is insufficient to support myself when i start to work on 1 August. So, i just said OK to Mr. Allan. I keep praying for God to open up the way, either Mr. Allan will call me to go to work earlier than 1 August or i get a part time job for a month. But who wanna hire a person for a month? Cut the story short. I got to know my friend's working place (a cafe) need worker, cos insufficient of workers. So i called him to ask, " Do your shop accept part-timer and work for a month?". Then he said," 1month? erm.. I think ok ah". I'm so happy and the shop is not that far from my place. I said, "really?" He said, " Yes. Can you come over and we will discuss about it." So i went there and we discussed. He accepted me with flexible working hours, so that i will be able to attend prayer meeting on friday night and saturday evening Life group. The salary is about 550. I'm fine as long i have a job to sustain myself here. I really thank God opened up the way for me. He is so good!

When i think back. I was praying to God that i wanna a good job with 1.8-2k salary, don't want to be underpaid i said to God and if possible my own field. And true enough, God gave me that range of salary, even though not my field but believe i will learn something, and he even provided me a car! That enable me to be more effective my ministry and as i like to travel also. Easier for many things. And now God provided me a month part time job. God is really good. I just wanna encourage the readers, when you pray, pray specifically and give it a standard that you would think you deserve it. Not to be greedy, but believe for God's provision. God sees the level of faith in you, if you dare to believe and ask something higher, He will provide it if it's according to His Will. I always pray for something specifically and with a standard, and believe God to provide. True enough many times, God provides. I hope you are being encouraged!